As I rode the train yesterday, a homeless man in the train was asking for money in the train as usual in NY. He came right next to me, too close for comfort, he stayed right near me within my personal space and stood there almost falling down with his head down. My first instinct of defending myself and being ready and aware to subdue him if he tried to touch me or hit me kicked in. That was my first reaction and thoughts.
As he stayed there so close and quiet, I gave him money. I thought he would leave and move on to ask the other people. He did not ! I was confused. Thinking withing myself, why is he next to me, why he picked me out of everyone in the train, when I was completely covered with my coat and barely showing my face... Why me ?!!!...
Then, He moved a bit and held the poll right in front of me, it looked like he was going to fall down as he moved his head down and down and up, he looked disoriented or under some chemical influence. Then, I started to feel sorry for him, and see him as a human, who just needed some kind of help. So I told him, "sit down" and he did sit next to me, for a few more minutes. Then, by the next stop, he got up and left the train.
I think that this man, didn't just needed money, he needed kindness, love, and compassion. Maybe a mother figure in his life to give him some kind of comfort. Who knows...Anyhow, it was kind of a strange experience.
4 comments:
Given our upbringing, and experiences in life, we can't help but worry about our own well being in those situations. It's our survival instincts. They are so ingrained in us that sometimes we forget the basics of humanity and kindness. This is the case even more when the person smells really bad. You don't want to be mean, but the smell is horrendous. It always bothers me when I see or hear stupid people laughing or joking about a homeless persons smell.
Well said, Angel. We need to practice more love, kindness and compassion in our lives with others specially with strangers.
That was probably the best thing that happened to him for a very long time when you said, "Sit down." You could have smiled at him and said, "How's your day going?" - but it would maybe have been difficult to keep a straight face.
Once I went to a party and was greeted by this girl who said, "I'm glad you came.". No one ever said that to me. It was the nicest thing I"d ever heard before. I was about 20. After that, I used the "I'm glad you came." liberally to people.
Thanks Steve. It was sad to see him that way, he looked like he needed a mother.
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