Friday, April 4, 2014

The Girl who loved the Fire

As a child, I used to play a lot and I would make a game or toy out of anything. I was fascinated, enchanted by Fire. I just loved Fire so much, I could not get enough of it. Looking a the bright light it produced, and the warm it caused, and the different forms it took, and how gentle it moved with the wind, I could not stop liking Fire so much. I would play with Fire in my big yard in my Great-Grandma's home. If my relatives would put on a candle, I would play with it, until they would made me stop.

Stop they try to make me stop, many times... They would yell at me and tell me how dangerous it was. I was such a stubborn child that I could not stop playing with Fire. I loved looking at it. Growing up in the Dominican Republic, we had many black outs, it was the normal thing. When I was in the afternoon school time, I had to finish my homework in the evening and nighttime with candles because of the black outs. I loved it, darkness never scared me. I found dark evenings and nights made it more fun and interesting. No that I was doing much as a child, but I would play outside with the neighborhood kids and scared the heck out of each other. We even created our own movies with a shoebox, a few toys and a candle.

My fascination with fire ended one afternoon when I almost burned the house. I will never forget that day, what I did, and felt guilty for many,... many,... many years.

My aunt Nelly put on a candle, for good wishes and she went to the hospital to give birth. I went inside her room, saw the candle and did what I loved to do. I started to play with it. There was a roll of toilet paper nearby so I took a piece of that paper and put it on the candle. The paper started to nicely become Fire and consumed by the Fire, it touched my fingers and burned me. I moved my hand rapidly, threw the paper on the floor right next to the quilt that was covering her bed. The bed started to go on fire so fast! ... I run to the yard, I put on the hose and started to put water on the bed, but there was not enough water to put the Fire off, the water pressure was too low. The whole mattress started to burn completely, the smoke started to come out of the side of the house. My front neighbors saw the smoke and came into the house to find out that I was burning down the place. My Great-Grandma was sleeping, so she was very much unaware of what was going on.

The neighbors helped to put out the fire. The bed was completely burned. As I am typing this entry, I am lol at this. OMG ! I was a horrible child. Now I remember when this happened, It was in 1980. I was 5 years old.

When my aunt Nelly came back from the hospital with her newborn, she did not had a bed to sleep with. I felt so bad. My mom was going to beat me up but she couldn't because I run and hid in the yard. I would climb up the trees and stay there for a few hours so no one could get me. We had 3 Avocados tree, 1 Mango tree, 1 Orange tree and 1 lemon tree plus many others. My favorite trees to climb were the Avocado trees, they were the tallest ones.

So many days past by, and I did not get the beat down. I did felt pretty bad for many years. I stop playing with fire. As an adult, I send money to my aunt Nelly for all the pain and trouble I caused her. Today, I laugh at it. My aunt Nelly loves me. She used to care for me all the time as if she was my mother too.

SCO Family of Services

Do not, I repeat Do not sign up for services with this agency. It will be a nightmare. This particular agency that I signed up is located at 613-619 Throop ave. Brooklyn, NY 11216.

How I ended up here I will tell you shortly with as less details as I can:

My smaller teenage son was acting out at home and in school. Because he was very much liked in school by some teachers / counselors, they overlooked many times that he misbehaved and once that he complained about me and went up to school crying because I cut his hair (his most valuable asset), the school went ahead a filed a report on me with ACS. The people in school that filed this report never called me to ask what was wrong, no these days, they don't do that, they just go a file a report.

This is so ridiculous, the way that the schools and ACS are getting involved in families that no wonder why there are so many youth and teens in jail. Since they are trying to make it harder for parents to discipline their kids. Almost everything is categorized as child abuse and neglect. Give me a break. I love my kids more than myself , but with that said, I am so looking to them reaching out to 18. It is like we must let our kids do whatever the hell they want in order to make them happy right?... so there should be no set of rules, boundaries and consequences for misbehaviors right?

I also want to let you know that kids in the NY school system can get away with so much unbelievable crap, if they are favorited or liked by a school personnel/teacher/counselor. I have 2 teenager sons, the bigger one looks Hispanic like me, the younger one looks Italian like his dad. Both of my kids and I, would get into conversations about the stuff that my smaller Italian looking son did and got away with in school, that my older Hispanic looking son would never even dream of getting away with as far as misbehaviors in the school. I am not saying that my kids are the worse or the best, I am making a point of how the school system works.

The school files a report with ACS on me, the next thing is I have an NYPD Detective calling me and asking me information about the report. Are you kidding me?! an NYPD Detective even got involved?! seriously. If I say this kind of stuff back home in the Dominican Republic, people would laugh at me big time. They say the new rule is that when an ACS report is made, the NYPD has to investigate as well.

After I met with the agents from the ACS and let them know my side of the situation and what has happened and the type of behavior my son was doing (like pushing my dogs face against the floor for example) ACS recommended me to sign up with SCO. I asked them what SCO was and they said is an agency for family therapy. So, me thinking, okay, maybe there is something I can learn and get help with this as far as parenting. So stupid, stupid or me ! I should had done my own re-search on this agency before I signed up.

SCO is a total waste of time, it drained my energy, it made me feel overwhelmed and when I caught up on it in a few months, that I saw there was no therapy at all but stupid inspections where they have to come to visit you 3 times a month. I had to stop working numerous time to come home and meet them and most of the time, the case worker would have to come to my work to meet. Good thing, I work for myself otherwise, would I had any regular job, I would be fired long time ago.

When I realized that it was time consuming and that there is no therapy at all, I told them I wanted the case closed with SCO.  They gave me the hardest time ever to close my case, the case went open for almost a year. They also asked me to take my son to special therapy and I said no to them and you know what they did? they file another case against me with ACS as child health neglect for not taking my son to therapy with another agency. So, Now we are talking about 2 open cases with ACS, are you kidding me?! wtf?  the agency that was supposed to help me as a parent is attacking me now. Bullshit !

SCO is such a waste of time that even while my case was open, my case workers resigned. I went through 2 different case worker ! that was another level of frustration because every time I got a new case worker, I had to start and tell them the whole situation from the beginning and it meant there was less privacy in my family because one more case worker had to find out about my teenager son issue. Lost of privacy, priceless. So when my second case worker resigned, I was supposed to get a third worker, the SCO supervisor knew my level of frustration with the agency that she decided to be the one coming to make the visits. Then, almost after one year, the case got closed.

I felt so upset meeting with SCO that it felt like it was parent stalking. You know when you are dating and you don't want to date someone anymore but they will push themselves forcibly on you, that's what I felt like. And I did let them know, enough was enough.

I did had to give into taking my son to go to therapy, only that I chose the place this time, a place where there are real licensed and professional therapist in Brooklyn. Which I do not want to disclose. But I know that they are very effective with their methods and by no mean, they try to make me as a parent feel like I have no choice in my life and my sons life.

Hoping that you be careful before you engage yourself and your family with any agency and do your homework before doing so. SCO did not worked for me or my family. It was a very stressful and real nightmare to deal with this agency.

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Cross on a Candle


Can you explain this? what are the chances of getting a candle with a cross at the top?


I had to shut off the candle because I had to leave the area where I had it on as a safety precaution. when I came back to the place, next day, I went to put it on again and to my amazement, I saw the candle had formed a cross at the top. It must had happened when it was shutting off the previous day. I got so surprised that I took a picture of it, and lit it back on. Then, after I talked to my mom, I notice I should had done what she said, I should had let it be and not turn it back on. So the candle is all gone and I have a picture of it. Now, I have to wait a few more years to see it this happens again.

As I talked to a few people and think about it, it is a "Miracle" like my friend said. It is a sign of how God is with us. In our daily lives we are so busy doing things that, sometimes we kind of loose a bit our connection with God and His higher power. This is just him saying "Hello, I am here for you and everyone else".

If you have any thoughts on this, feel free to email me at lalistadeaura@aol.com with the subject as Candle.
Take care,
Aura
DASEP

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Poochie: Orange Wing Amazon Bird

Poochie is an Orange Wing Amazon bird. He was born sometime in June 2010 in  Florida. His tag number is 3281. He came as a newborn by plane I guess to Pedro's store "Birds of Paradise".





I saw him as a newborn, he had very few feathers, he looked a bit weird without all of his feathers. One time in August of 2010, when he was 2 months old, I walked into the store and saw him. By now he was bigger with all his colorful feathers, I looked at him, he looked at me, eye to eye, he smiled, he sort of hypnotised me. I talked to him and he responded by giving me attention and his eyes flashed brightly orange colors. When I left the store, I was hooked on him. I could not stop thinking about him. I decided to buy him as a  birthday gift to myself and I did. He is the best thing I ever got for myself. I also felt like if I was saving him, I don't know from what, but he actually saved me...lol

I had him DNA tested and confirmed that he is a boy. Raising Poochie had been a great experience. I never knew that birds were so great and interesting. I didn't even know that I could be so gifted at taking care of bird. I had learned a lot from him, more than what I thought. He also made me a better person.

One of the most significant thing I learned from Poochie is to " Never be  Upset or Mad", no matter what my situation is. Poochie never gets mad, he is always happy and I mean, really happy ! He is always sweet, he loves attention, he loves being talked and sing to. His favorite song is "ABC".

The only annoying behavior that he will have is being very loud and noisy if I don't give him attention. Birds are like "forever little babies", they need to be loved and play with, they need everyday talk, affection and care, birds are social beings. When he is very noisy, I put a cover over his cage to calm him down, if talking and music doesn't work. Birds take on the emotions that are around so if I am loud he will be loud and scream also.

Please do not get a pet bird if you think that you will not have the time to take care of them and play with. Birds really need attention and play time. You can leave the radio music on all day if you have to go to work and leave your bird alone.

Poochie will talk only when he wants to. It took me 3 years to get him on video saying "I love you" he would talk and dance but would stop as soon as he knew I was recording. He is too smart...lol
You can see him doing all his things on my youtube channel www.youtube.com/lalistadeaura

 
 








Thursday, March 21, 2013

Handwriting

I am an artist. My thoughts, my ideas are always changing, it is my nature. I happen to have many skills and abilities which I am not going to write about them here for personal reasons, but today I want to write about one of them, my handwriting.

I write in many different ways, meaning that my handwriting is not the same all the time like most people. The norm is that each person has a unique way of writing, not me. I write in many different ways, depending on how I am feeling and the level of energy that I may have at the time of handwriting.

When I was in like the 9th grade which would be 1ro de Bachillerato in D.R. my mom made me go to the best French Language school in the D.R. which is La Allianza Francesa in Santo Domingo. So in my weekends, I used to go to the city for my French classes. It was a piece of cake to me, French is so close to the Spanish Language. I was excellent at it, I always got good grades, although today, I don't remember much of French, since I did not practice and I only did about six months in the school.

One time, in my High School French class, my class got a test, I  scored 98 or 100, which it was what I always scored. The Teacher, who I don't remember his name, accused me of cheating. I was shocked, I asked why he thought that and why he reduced my grade? he said that there were about three different handwriting in my test.  I was so shock and mad at him at the same time. He knew that I was in the Alianza Francesa, how dare him to think that of me. I never cheated on my tests. I was just so shocked. He did ended up fixing my grade.

This was one of those days when people will think of someone to be wrong just because they are different or they do things differently from the norm or the average. Did I ever want to change and be like the rest of the people to fit in the mold?... not at all, my creativity is what keeps me going, my life, my essence, my fuel, my passion, my all.

I want to walk the interesting path of life,
I don't fit the mold, I break the mold.

If a Baby could talk...

If a baby could talk,
If a baby could talk when he is born,
If a baby could look straight in his parents eyes,
If a parent could understand his baby's feelings,
If a baby could talk as soon as He is born,
He can not talk, He can only cry,...
He can only take the pain caused by being circumcised without his verbal consent,...
If a baby could talk,...
a baby will say "No please, no... do not expose me to that type of pain"
If only a baby could talk.


Aura 3.15.13

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Children

Why do we have children?
Children are a necessity, the way for humanity to go on throughout times, and sometimes, they just happen without one trying to have a child. No matter what is the situation that had caused a child to be born, I am a strong believer that each child, is born for a purpose.

I wanted to be a mom so much, I was obsessed with the idea of becoming a mother.  I love babies, I used to take care of my smaller brother, my baby cousins and my friend's babies. I love the smell of babies, I love their soft skins, I enjoy soo much the smell of their skin. Babies have a unique baby smell, and it disappears at about when babies become toddlers. There is a special natural soothing smell in the skin of a baby.

As much as I love babies, I really never thought of what happens when babies grow. They become different persons. They have unique personalities and sometimes, you may not like some traits of those personalities...lol

I had notice that  a baby is a great "Gift from God" that I am to have this wonderful little person for a a while and then, this little person will have to navigate the world in his own footsteps. Having babies also keep you in touch with the changing times, our offsprings learn new things and can do things much better than us as they grow. As a parent, I am very much willing to be tune to my children's advise, needs and feelings. I try to walk into their shoes to understand them.

 A few Sundays ago, I went to the city with my Son for some Art supplies shopping. It is the one place where we can sort of hang out together and have fun.  The funny part is that coming back, we were going on the subway. I rarely go into NYC, we got there by taxi. When we walked into the train station, I saw everyone getting out of the train through the metal bars and I looked and looked at it, and say to my Son "We can not go into the subway this way, look is only for people to get out". He looked at me and say "Oh, yes Mom, we can go this way, swipe your card"... I still said "No, we can not go in this way, I looked at the bars and could not think how am I going to go IN, when all I saw was people coming Out. My son swiped his card first and Boom! the bars moved the opposite way and he went inside the train station !  I was like "Oh, that's how it is" ..lol  

Here is a pic to the train bars:


After I went inside the train station, we had a good laugh about me being so naive.  I realized that I need to go out more often to keep up with time, reality and what's going on around town...lol

Once again, this was a moment of me feeling so happy about having children. It is a way of nature, is a way of having someone to teach me new things, share life, share moments, grow and experience life through their life. No matter how difficult it is, how tiring physically and mentally is to raise a child, it is one of the best things to do if you really enjoy the humanity.