Great Pictures

That moment when I place keys on a table and get the one in a million shot and one key stays standing up.

The way the sunshine falls on nature.
#nature #flowers #outdoors

Suicide

Will you stay being friends with someone who is suicidal, or cut off the friendship turn your back on them and walk away?

Suicide is a serious mental illness and more common than what we know. After being friends with someone who strongly believe in Suicide, I couldn't deal with it and I just shut him out and unfriended him. Was that mean? yes absolutely. It was actually the first time I acted selfish to protect myself and my emotions.

Because after experiencing the death of a few friends via Suicide, that is an experience that I didn't want to be part of. So, if you are Suicidal and you refuse to seek professional help, you can unfriend me to. I don't want to be part or walk no one's Hell. I already lived and walked my Hell, and I came out of it Alive. I CHOOSE to live and enjoy life, even when life is shitty, I love and enjoy life. It is the hardest, worst, darkest moments of our lives that which can teach us to be stronger.

I see some Suicidal people as being selfish, it is a very selfish act. So, if someone is selfish enough to commit suicide, he/she should be able to understand my selfishness to protect myself and cut off the friendship.

Of course, this is excusing the people who have serious mental health issues and do commit Suicide. But someone who is extremely smart and talented, wanting and committing Suicide, I have a problem dealing with it. Again, I think they are selfish and are not willing to understand the meaning of life.

Last week, as I spoke to a very close relative who told me that he was going to kill himself because he ( thought ) was in serious trouble and he was not able to handle it, he told me, he would kill himself straight out and that was it, he made up his mind, flat and clear, I realized how easy is for anyone to become Suicidal. As I remained calm and spoke to him a bit, slowly he told me what the trouble was. I had to speak to him slowly and let him open up on his own. Once I realized what was the big "Trouble" that he thought he had (which it was not), I was able to talk him out of his Suicidal choice/mentality. The solution was very plain and simple to his "trouble", just with one small conversation I was able to give clarity to his mind and thoughts.

I don't think that God created us for the purpose of doing such a thing as Suicide and self destruction. I believe that we can uplift each other. Of course in serious situations like Suicide, I am not professionally prepared, licensed or educated to deal with it and give the right care and support. Helping a relative with it, was easy. However helping someone who is not a relative and have serious issues or mental health issues is something that I can not do, it is extremely draining and tiring at all levels. If you are Suicidal there are so many things that can be done to prevent it and find joy in life, and the first step is seeking professional help with a Licensed Therapist or by calling the National Suicide Prevention hotline 1-800-273-8255.

Choosing The Right Partner

  Choosing The Right Partner for my work out in Mauy Thai is a serious decision and a very important one for me every time I have a class. I mean, this is the person that is going to be legally allowed to hit me and that I can hit for almost 1 hour.

   Who knew that getting the right training partner was such an important decision?!...It is very important for my advancement and learning process. I didn't know how weak I was until I started to train, then 2 years later, I didn't know how strong my body was going to become. I am still mentally shocked at the changes in my body. Being able to do so much more physically and regained so much energy.

   I really didn't pay attention at the beginning, but then I started to notice that at the time of picking a partner after the warm out work outs, I was the ugliest duckling in the class who was left without a training partner, so I had to be placed in a group with 2 other people. There was something going on that I quite didn't understand.  lol


   Finally, I figured out that to land a good training partner, I would have to ask someone to be my partner ahead, before the class started !!! Bingo!!!!  I cracked part of the code and unspoken social rule.


   So, I still remember that one partner who rejected me, once that I had asked him and he agreed to be my partner, right before class, he dump me, he actually dropped me, and chose another partner for whatever reasons. Well, that was mean !   I was crushed ! Anyhow, I never asked him again to be my partner. However, this was a great experience because I learned to handle rejection and see the great part of it, where you move on to the next partner and learn so much more with so many different people.


   Training with advanced students is a privilege, because they correct me, teach me, and give me hints of how to do things better and what parts need improvements in training.  Now, when I do train with beginners, I can see how much progress I had made in the sport.


   I really love to train with men for the one reason, the different body types and sizes help me to measure and practice hits on different body types. I can also hit them with as much force as I can, they can handle it. Of course, with our protective gears.

   Training with women is lovely, because some of them are extremely strong and hit as hard as men. Of course, when my energy level is below normal level, I pick some of the newer students, because I know, they won't hit me as hard.


   Now, you know part of the code to get the Right Training Partner.

Homeless Man

As I rode the train yesterday, a homeless man in the train was asking for money in the train as usual in NY. He came right next to me, too close for comfort, he stayed right near me within my personal space and stood there almost falling down with his head down. My first instinct of defending myself and being ready and aware to subdue him if he tried to touch me or hit me kicked in. That was my first reaction and thoughts.

As he stayed there so close and quiet, I gave him money. I thought he would leave and move on to ask the other people. He did not !  I was confused. Thinking withing myself, why is he next to me, why he picked me out of everyone in the train, when I was completely covered with my coat and barely showing my face... Why me ?!!!...

Then, He moved a bit and held the poll right in front of me, it looked like he was going to fall down as he moved his head down and down and up, he looked disoriented or under some chemical influence. Then, I started to feel sorry for him, and see him as a human, who just needed some kind of help. So I told him, "sit down" and he did sit next to me, for a few more minutes. Then, by the next stop, he got up and left the train.


 I think  that this man, didn't just needed money, he needed kindness, love, and compassion. Maybe a mother figure in his life to give him some kind of comfort. Who knows...Anyhow, it was kind of a strange experience.

The Other Side

Last night I had a dream where I went to drive a car and a cassette played on the radio, it was John's clear voice, the only thing it said was:

" I am very angry and disappointed"

While I had seen him and many of my late relatives in my dreams frequently, this is the first time, that I was able to hear his voice in the most clear way as if he was still so alive. This is such a strong message from the other side and I can understand why he might feel that way.

While the other side has proven to be a really nice peaceful and calm place, I believe that sometimes our late relatives get sad and unhappy as to how things unfold, drama, hate, and issues that arise and develop when someone in the family is gone.

Sometimes, we as widows and grieving families become so angry at a dead loved One, and it is such a waste of time and emotions (guilty as charged), because when someone dies, that is it, he/she is gone and can only exist in a spiritual way.

It takes a lot of emotional exercises to really realized that the dead Loved One did his/her best and that was it. And when he/she failed us, it was only out of ignorance. And finally, we have to remember that we were loved unconditionally by him/her.

John knew he was dying, and he chose death, because he refused over and over to seek medical help. It was his choice and with that I live. As much as I loved and cared for him, it was his choice to refuse the ambulance on his first small stroke, his choice to lie to the doctor about not having chest and left arms pains, his choice to not want to go to an emergency rooms 3 days before his death date when he told me he wasn't feeling good.

So, yes, I can truly understand his message. I can sleep really well at night on my own.